


Lesbian in Rainbow

by missblatherskite



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Isabelle Lightwood, Bisexual Jace Wayland, Bisexual Lydia Branwell, F/F, Gay Raj, Lesbian Clary Fray
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:27:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missblatherskite/pseuds/missblatherskite
Summary: Clary was determined to come out.





	1. Cool

Well, it was certainly loud, and she supposed that is what she asked Simon for. She held the black shirt up and imagined wearing it. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. The simple women’s cut, in all capital letters, proclaimed “lesbian” in rainbow across the chest.

 

She had told Simon she wanted to come out in an easy way, in a way that didn’t involved talking to everyone at school, or letting the savage rumor mill go about it for her. Simon suggested a tee shirt and she immediately agreed. It was perfect. Now, looking at it, she wasn’t so sure. Maybe a smaller letters would be better, or losing the rainbow. It was just so…gay.

 

And Clary was comfortable with being gay, she really was. As soon as she had realized she immediately accepted it as a part of herself. But telling other people? That was a different matter. That was a matter that made her heart pound in her chest and her hands start to sweat. She wanted to be out. She was determined to be out. She just wished it wasn’t so scary.

 

Normally she didn’t care much what people thought, but this was different. This was the difference between girls avoiding touching her or not. The difference between being called slurs behind her back or not. The difference between being able to change in the open part of the changing room, or having to hide in a bathroom stall so people wouldn’t be uncomfortable or not. She wasn’t sure she could handle it if it went badly.

 

Still, she was anything but a coward, and when she set her mind to something, she did it. So Monday she found herself striding through the hallway to her locker “LESBIAN” screaming from her chest. At first, no one seemed to notice, but then the whispers started. She put her head down and prayed they were about anything other than her, but she wasn’t that oblivious. When she reached her locker her chin was firmly tucked to her chest and she was fighting back tears. She knew this wouldn’t be easy, she told herself. She knew this might happen. It didn’t sting any less.

 

She started to put her books away slowly, breathing deeply to keep herself from full on panicking when she saw someone approach her from the corner of her eye. Here it comes, she thought.

 

“So, you’re a lesbian.”

 

Shocked, she looked over. There, in all her glory was Isabelle Lightwood. The girl she had been crushing on since middle school. The girl that was part of the reason she realized she was gay. And she was talking to her. About her being gay. She took a breath.

 

“Yes?” It came out more as a question than a statement.

 

She nodded sharply.

 

“Cool. We need more members—in the LGBTQ+ group, that is. You should join us. Ever since I started it last year we’ve only had a few members, and they tend to be a bit wishy washy. You seem like you wouldn’t be.”

 

She couldn’t help but gape at her. She thought her being a lesbian was “cool.” She wanted her to be in a gay group with her. This is not what she expected at all. All she could do was nod somewhat dumbly, mouth still open. Isabelle took this as good enough.

 

“Great. Thursdays after school. Room 302. I’ll see you there. Oh, and I love your shirt!”

 

Clary watched her leave, no doubt the stupid expression still on her face. This was not….this wasn’t….

 

Thursday could not come soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

She had to restrain herself that morning. There was no way she could wear the shirt again in the same week—mere days after she had worn it to come out. No, she couldn’t wear it. But then what was she to wear? She didn’t have any other gay shirts, and for some reason she felt like that was important to have for her first LGBTQ+ meeting. And maybe she wanted Izzy to notice her shirt again, to tell her she liked it.

 

In the end she settled for what she always wore—a plain tee shirt. She couldn’t look like she was trying to hard, that would just result in embarrassment if Izzy figured out it was for her. And there was no doubt in Clary’s mind that Izzy would figure out her crush eventually. She wasn’t the best at hiding her feelings over anything, and her crush on Isabelle was all encompassing. She’d surely stutter and blush her way into revealing herself soon enough.

 

The school day passed slowly. There were still some looks thrown her way, still some whispers, but to her joy most people didn’t seem to care. There had been no confrontations, no slurs thrown her way. People just left her alone like they did before. It was the best she had hoped for. Actually, it was better. Because it caused Izzy to notice her.

 

She tried to pay attention in classes, she really did, but all she could think about was the club meeting after school. What would it be like? Who would be there? How would Izzy react to her being there? Would se be happy? Or would it be no big deal to her?

 

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and she was out of her chair like lightning, speeding to her locker to put away her books and gather up her backpack. And then, she loitered. She didn’t want to be early, didn’t want to seem too eager. But then, she didn’t want to be late, either. So she waited until about half the students had cleared the hallways before making her way over to the club’s meeting room.

 

When she got there, there were already two students—neither of them Isabelle. Jace, Isabelle’s foster brother was sitting on top of one of the desks, looking out of the window with a look of boredom on his face. A boy she didn’t know was sitting in the corner, looking down at his notebook and frowning, furiously erasing something. Both boys looked up when she entered.

 

“Ah, here’s the new lesbian.” Jace drawled.

 

Clary’s face heated up and she narrowed her eyes.

 

“I’m not the ‘new lesbian.’ I’m Clary.”

 

He held up his hands in defense.

 

“I know your name. Doesn’t mean you’re not our new lesbian.”

 

Her face heated even further, but before she could retort Isabelle and a stunning blonde girl walked into the room.

 

“Jace, stop being a dick.”

 

Isabelle flicked her hair over her shoulder, and her expression warmed as she met Clary’s eyes.

 

“I’m glad you came. As you can see, we really do need the members.” She gestured at the three others in the room.

 

“Sometimes we’ll get more, but most of the time this is it.”

 

Clary smiled shyly at her, but couldn’t find any words to respond. Isabelle didn’t seem to notice, but the blonde girl raised her eyebrows at her. Damn. She’d already been made.

 

“Since we have someone new, why don’t we all introduce ourselves and share why we’re here, if you feel comfortable that is. I’ll start. I’m Izzy and I’m here because I’m bisexual.”

 

“I’m Lydia,” said the blonde girl. “And I’m also bi.”

 

“Jace, bi.” He said shortly, before staring out the window in boredom again.

 

“Raj,” said the boy in the corner. “I’m gay.”

 

Clary nodded, committing Lydia and Raj’s names to memory. Then she realized Isabelle was looking at her expectantly.

 

“Oh! I’m Clary and I’m a lesbian.”

 

“Already knew that, red. But thanks for the share.”

 

“Jace! If you’re going to be like this then just leave!”

 

“Oh, thank God. I’m out of here.”

 

Jace quickly jumped off the desk and exited the room, throwing Izzy a salute on the way out. Clary watched him go in a mix of anger and confusion.

 

“I make him come. He’s not a big fan of organizations, so he thinks being a jerk will get him out of these meetings. He’s not actually like that, I promise.”

 

Izzy smiled at her and her heart leapt in her chest.

 

“So, now I think we can get started. Out first order of business—“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I made Jace be a bit of a dick. He probably won't stay that way?


	3. See You Tomorrow

The meeting seemed to fly by. Surprisingly, she didn’t focus on Isabelle the entire time, she was actually following the conversation enough to participate. It was mostly about how to come out—she gathered it was for Lydia’s benefit, she was the only one asking question after question, and looking nervous the whole time.

 

Whenever Clary participated Isabelle would turn to her with a smile, nodding her head at what she was saying. It was enough to make her stutter a few times, but she was proud of herself for mostly keeping her cool.

 

When the meeting ended Lydia and Raj didn’t stick around, leaving immediately. Isabelle came over to her.

 

“I’m so glad you came! This was a pretty typical meeting, we choose different discussion points for each one—last week was dealing with homophobic comments. I hope you’ll keep coming.”

 

“Yes!” She said way too loudly. “Of course, I mean, I really liked it.”

 

_I really like you_ she thought. Isabelle smiled at her again—it was heart melting.

 

“Cool. So, I’ll see you at school tomorrow. By, Clary.”

 

At school tomorrow. She said tomorrow, not the next meeting, like she would be interacting with er outside of them. Would she acknowledge her when she saw her? Would she talk to her in the hallways? It was almost too much for her to contemplate. She needed to call Simon.

 

It was so much easier when they went to the same school, but alas, they had separated in high school. Now they called each other daily to tell each other what had happened at school but it wasn’t quite the same. If Simon had been here, he could have helped her analyze what Isabelle said. He could help be a bit of a buffer if she got really tongue tied.

 

When she got home, she made a b line to her room, shedding her jacket and bag, while calling out a quick hello to her mother. They didn’t allow cell phones at school, so she never bothered to bring it, instead keeping it next to her bed for the day. She reached for it immediately.

 

“Hey, Clary! What’s up? How’d it go?”

 

“Oh my god Si, it was so…She was so…”

 

She managed to stumbled out the entirety of what happened, every few sentences taking the time to describe just how Isabelle looked, and talked, and smiled at her.

 

“Okay, okay. I get it. She’s perfect. She’s amazing. She’s the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen. Man, you really do have it bad.”

 

She sighed.

 

“I really do. I have no idea how I didn’t embarrass myself. Except I think Lydia knows, so who know how that will go. I’ve seen her around Isabelle a lot, so I think they’re friends. What if she tells her?”

 

Clary was biting her lips, hand twisting in her hair, panic rising. Simon stepped in quickly,

 

“I doubt she’d do that after having just met you. She can’t know for sure. You’re probably just reading into it a little too much.”

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Anyways, I have to go. I have homework. Thanks, Si.”

 

“No problem. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

 

Once she had hung up she threw herself back onto her bed and gazed at her ceiling. She had really done that. She had really spent an hour after school in the same space as Isabelle Lightwood. And she would be able to keep doing so. This was either going to be very good, or very bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a very short update while I try to figure out how I want this to continue. I have no idea how soon the next update will be.


	4. Apologies And Lunches

Clary dressed with care that morning. She picked out a nicer shirt than normal, spent more time on her hair and makeup. Isabelle had implied that she might talk to her, so she had to look good. Part of her was worried she would look like she was trying too hard, but there was no way Isabelle would know that it was for her, so she ignored her worries.

 

Her mother raised a slight eyebrow at her appearance, but before she could say anything Clary headed her off.

 

“I gotta get to school, mom. I have to meet with a teacher early. Bye!”

 

She raced out of the apartment before her mother could reply, and breathed a sigh of relief when she got outside. At least she wouldn’t have to answer any questions until she got back from school—and she knew there would be questions. On most things she was an open book with her mother—she had been the first person Clary had come out to. But her crush on Isabelle was something she had never discussed, never hinted at. It seemed too private to share with anyone other than Simon…not to mention a little embarrassing. Her mother wouldn’t tease her, but she would press her for information, and that was something she was not prepared to deal with.

 

When she got to school she was able to walk in with the same amount of confidence as normal. She had concluded that there would be no bad repercussions to her coming out, so she didn’t need to be scared.

 

As she approached her locker she couldn’t help but hope that she would see Isabelle, that maybe the girl would be waiting to greet her. Instead, she was treated to the sight of Jace, leaning against it, looking obnoxious (or perhaps that was just her projecting her opinion of him onto his appearance).

 

“What are you doing at my locker? How do you know where my locker is?” She demanded as soon as she was close enough.

 

“Chill, Red. No need to be so hostile.”

 

Before Clary could open her mouth he continued.

 

“I came to apologize. I was a ass the other day, and I shouldn’t have treated you like that. And before you ask, no Isabelle did not force me to do this.”

 

“Oh…okay. Well, apology accepted.”

 

“Good. Well, I guess I’ll see you next meeting new lesbian!”

 

Her face heated and her hands balled into fists. Just as he was being nice…He laughed at the expression of her face and quickly made his way through the throng of students, away from her.

 

“Jerk.”

 

To her disappointment she didn’t see Isabelle before school started, or after first block. It was a big school, Clary knew, and it would be difficult for their paths to cross unless one was seeking the other out. And that was something she had forbidden herself from doing. If she was going to talk to Isabelle, it would be because Isabelle wanted to, not because she manufactured a situation.

 

At lunch she made her way to her usual small table that she shared with a few empty chairs and took out the sketchpad she always took to lunch with her. She was maybe a minute into finishing a sketch she had started yesterday when she was interrupted.

 

“Hey, Clary. You have room for us?”

 

It was Isabelle. And dear God was she looking particularly flawless today. Her hair was in a long braid she had pulled over one shoulder, and she was wearing extreme cat eyes. Her dress was red and snug to her body, her heels as high as they usually were. Clary could only stare for a moment before collecting herself and gesturing to the table.

 

“Plenty of room.”

 

It was only as Isabelle was taking a seat that she noticed Lydia was with her. A small part of her was disappointed that she wouldn’t have Isabelle all to herself, but it was quickly squashed by the relief that she wouldn’t have to try and keep up a conversation with her crush all by herself. She smiled at Lydia ingratitude, that the other girl surely had no idea what was about.

 

“Do you normally sit alone?” Lydia asked.

 

Clary grimaced. She hated seeming pathetic.

 

“Yes? I tend to just sketch during lunch so…”

 

“Oh, I hope we’re not interrupting. Can I see?”

 

She blinked at her, before realizing she was referring to her sketchbook. She thought frantically about all the drawings, trying to remember if any were of her. They weren’t, she was pretty sure. So she nodded and handed it over.

 

“No, you’re not interrupting. It’s nice to have company. And they’re just some basic sketches, not my best work…”

 

Isabelle was smiling as she flipped through the book, Lydia leaning over her shoulder looking interested.

 

“They’re great! I’d love to see what you consider your best.”

 

The rest of lunch went fairly smoothly, with Isabelle and Lydia taking the lead in the conversation and Clary only having to throw in a sentence here and there. The more Isabelle talked, the more she was convinced that she was well and truly in love with her. The sound of her voice washed over her, and by the end of lunch she was in a state of bliss.

 

“I better get going. Mr. Morris is a real stickler for being on time. Good to see you, Clary.”

 

Lydia nodded her goodbye and Clary called a quiet goodbye after them, no doubt swallowed up by the din of the lunch room.

 

This was probably the best lunch she had ever had. As she walked to her next class, she couldn’t stop the large, stupid smile from blossoming on her face.

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be updated as necessary. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome. 
> 
> Comments warm my little goblin heart.


End file.
